Girls. Stop making babies that you can’t take care of and you don’t want because society tells you you have to.It’s bullshit, and you’re worth more than that. This world needs much more than more poorly raised people, and you have better things to contribute to it. Seriously. Take it from someone who knows. You are not equipped to raise a child in this modern world yet. You will be able to have healthy babies well into your late twenties, and it’s far better to build yourself, your life and lasting relationships before you attempt to build them. You do not have to live with the cognitive dissonance of trying to reconcile love and resentment… I bet you have dreams for yourself that go far beyond being a mother, and I hate to say it kid, and no one else is telling you… Having a baby too early WILL KILL THAT. Every dream, every wish, every hope and aspiration. DEAD. no joke. Don’t do that to yourself.
Protect yourself at all costs. Despite what society wants you to think, you are more than a vehicle for your sex organs, and you have far more value than being just a sex object for men. You don’t NEED to have sex with a boy for him to like you (really, a hand job will suffice, blowjob tops, I promise). All joking aside, on top of that; you don’t need a boy to like you to be worthwhile and amazing. You will get more lasting self esteem from getting accepted into the college of your choice than you will from getting your cherry popped on prom night, it’s a proven fact. Surround yourself with people, especially boys and men, that value you for the same things you value in yourself. When you fall in love with one of them, have sex with that one. You really don’t need to go through the bullshit meaningless one night stand and puppy love crap to appreciate it. Honest. I’m not telling you to wait til marriage… Or even til you’re eighteen. I’m telling you to wait until YOU feel comfortable, safe & aroused by someone who ALREADY LOVES YOU. If they don’t love you already, sex will never fix that, and it will make you feel cheep when it doesn’t.
When that sex eventually happens, use birth control, and multiple forms. And that does NOT mean double up on the rubbers. That actually increases the risk of BOTH condoms tearing by way of the friction between the two layers of latex, so go for different TYPES, not MORE. And that’s another thing. KNOW HOW to properly use your birth control. An accidental pregnancy is not the “blessing in disguise” that everyone tries to talk you into believing it is. That’s all claptrap. There’s a reason why teen mothers are a high risk for postpartum depression and psychosis: because deep down they know their life has ended before they were allowed to start it.
Which brings me back to the beginning… START YOUR LIFE. You’re beautiful, amazing. You’re a glorious girl full of potential and life. Women have a tenacity and a drive lent us by nature that allows us to live through ANYTHING and survive. I’m not joking. Take a look at what women do and put up with, all the while with a babies on their hips and in their bellies. Take that drive and ability to nurture, and apply it to yourself. You are the most important person in your world, and if you ever DECIDE to have a baby, you will be the goddamn most important person in theirs for a hell of a long time. You owe it to yourself and them to make CERTAIN you are the best person you could be. That means being educated (so that you may educate them). Self-sufficient (because BELIEVE me, you cannot be certain that a man will provide for any seed he leaves in your womb). And happy with where your life is. Because if you’re not, you will resent it and your children will feel it, and if they feel it, you’ll know, and you will feel guilty. Believe me. I’m living it.