Not my usual style (For OneStop)

Standard

Waterspots

Eerily, unearthly swell

Drives against the ear drum well

And swells into a thrumming hum

Telling you the tide has won

So pulling you into the sea

A breathless wash of floating free

And thickly, lungs wrapped wet in wool

Your chest concave against the pull

And empty sucking, impotent

Has breath from rushing water rent

Soon air-choked mind begins to thrash

As burning lungs from water splash

The cloying doom of  salty shroud

As passing looms in drifting down

But sudden does the reflex pass

And mind and form move to relax

So drifting pleasant can become

-Man and sea becoming one

It’s that time again! OneStopPoetry is having the Wednesday poetry share, and all are welcome to share if they like, or just come in and browse all the lovely work. Have fun! (and don’t forget to congratulate the team of OneStop for their much deserved shorty award!)

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6 responses »

  1. wow…ratchet up the intesity….drowning was never so beautiful yet harrowing…i’d drop the ‘like’ in the line with wet wool, gives the image pop and keeps the flow…

    • Rhyme is my thing… I’m rather terrible at freeverse. I rarely make the attempt, it always ends up as a half-rhymed bastardization of freeverse. Lol, I really can’t NOT rhyme my poetry.

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