Ok Chris, are you happy now?

Standard

Deflated

Spilling my soul and my poor beating heart

I leave it to you to be whole picked apart

“The meter is wrong, the rhyming quite dull”

removing the core of the meat from the hull

Leaving me white, shellshocked and bare

Not knowing the depth of the rhythm been pared

This is my heartbeat gone slow you’ve just broke

The slow flow of soul been caught in the spokes

Of your teeth as you roll with and editor’s flare

Not knowing `hind words there’s a person back there

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About Keats

Oh I'm sassy and I'm sexy, So silly sweet-and-sour Delightfully disastrous And deliciously dour I'm flippantly foolish, Filled I am with fear Can't concentrate completely, and my conduct isn't clear But to bravely be my best I Bring bravado back, BEHOLD!

One response »

  1. Editors can be cruel creatures at times. One must strike a balance…we are all here to grow and to be critiqued and to learn from our mistakes (I do so hope), but one must also recognize that the people being critiqued are human, and that quite often, a good deal of ourselves is being put into our work. Critique away, but do so with care…

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